bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You need a sexual gate keeper
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize