the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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