both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize