idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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