The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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