around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
