i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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