just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
