i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
