I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
