belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
im on a boat
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