i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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