i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
