pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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