If that was your dad, he is hot
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We had to coat check the pizza.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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