Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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