Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
