im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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