I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
