All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
