i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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