Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize