I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
