Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
