At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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