wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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