At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
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