He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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