you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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