no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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