Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
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He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
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my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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