i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
