Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
