Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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