I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
