i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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