We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I had to cum in my sink.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
