are you still at the devil's house?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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