people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
