i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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