Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
