Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
