idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Randomize
