somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
