I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
