ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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