Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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