I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
