there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
