I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
