BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
