The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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