I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
