now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
