Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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