Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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