Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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