I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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