is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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