Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
